
A short horror story:
where did the spider go?
(via orgasmic-humor)
Sitting out by the fire . Eating s’mores . With my best friend . Relaxing night.
That’s me.
- tourist: could you give us directions to Olive Garden?
- new yorker: no, but i could give you directions to an actual Italian restaurant lol
- tourist: oh you think you're clever???
- new yorker: what
- tourist: i'm going to meet my dying neice and she happens to love olive garden so her whole family is going to eat with her so she'll have a few moments of happiness
- new yorker: oh... oh god i'm so sor
- tourist: no shut the fuck up you piece of shit. i'll find it myself
- the tourist drives off and the new yorker is left to think about his life choices and his decision to be a giant condescending asshole
- The tourist smirks to himself as he drives away, adjusting his black Boss of the Plains hat, mentally checking another brilliant execution of trolling off of his list.
- me after running for one minute: i'm still alive, but i'm barely breathing
The absolute worst things in the world.
K
I’m screaming in OCDness. adshfksnjskiwgvb hiy
(via i-am-louis-suspenders)






















